It's My 31st Birthday! A Reflection
I have been meaning to send out a newsletter for a while now. I began feverishly typing one late night in mid-August, and it only took me three more months to wrap it up. đ
New subscribers kept joining, so if you're wondering who this person in your inbox turning 31 isâyou probably subscribed ages ago! I havenât sent a proper email in months. Occasionally, I write cool stuff, so stick around.
To the rest of youâhello! Itâs been a while. Mostly because I got a job and got caught up in things like rewatching Gilmore Girls for the 6th time, studying, and general âadulting.â
I wonât ramble on too long; I just wanted to jot down my pre-birthday thoughts.
This year has been one of realizing Iâm a regular person. It started with a 3-month-long depression over what a failure I am, but things looked up in early summer when I got an Ops role at a marketing agency.
Itâs also been a year of dismantling long-held beliefs, facing reality, and growing out of my Peter Pan stage (to those who donât know, I spent my 20s in Bali fucking around (metaphorically, not literally)). Itâs been a long time coming.
I Made Being a Regular Person Great Again
I donât want to be excellent. I donât want to be extraordinary. I donât want to earn six figures. I donât want to advise someone on how to live their best life.
I got so sick of the hustle culture, the manifest-anything-you-desire culture I was a part of. These days, I have to refrain from rolling my eyes when someone speaks about the Universe or how AI is the new opportunity to start making seven figures.
I am content being a regular, boring person who doesnât want to run her own business and live in Dubai. I am okay living with my mom and working from home. Having a routine. Walking the same routes daily. Looking forward to my morning coffee. Being âregularâ feels great!
I went so far the other way of striving to be the best version of myself (cue puking emoji) that I forgot to appreciate my Life. Iâm fed, clothed, sheltered and employed - I live better than most. Iâm not just saying it - I actually feel it.
I have friends who I love, game meat in the freezer, clean Lithuanian air to fill my lungs and easy access to nature. Oh, and my 90-year-old grandma is alive and kicking. What could be better?
I sound like a cliché, but it feels true.
An unexpected upside of embracing my âregularnessâ is that I donât feel time flying by as others often say. My 30th birthday feels like a lifetime ago. Days feel long and sweet.
An unexpected upside to my newly found regularness is that I donât feel time is flying by as others say. My 30th birthday feels like it was ages ago. But days feel long and sweet.
The Basic Free Things
Movement - When Iâm 70, I want to climb mountains with my grandchildren, so itâs worth investing in this dream now.
Connection - When I share my sorrows, they halve, and when I share my joy, it doubles. Not to mention the genuine happiness I experience when something goes well for a friend. Having friends is a cheap access to joy.
Mental Freedom - When your mind is in shambles, your whole world is in shambles.
Movement discoveries
Take a 10-15min walk after a main meal
Sync workouts to your cycle; HIIT is no bueno for the female hormonal system except for certain days of the cycle
Stretch, twist and move throughout the day
Switch the workouts up (there are millions of workouts online; I dare you to get bored)
Looks are largely genetic, so chill out and move for health, not appearance
Movement is addictive, but itâs best when driven by âgood hormonesââthose from exercise, not mirror checks. Weâll all get wrinkly one day; functionality is what matters.
Connection
Iâm lucky because I genuinely enjoy my friendsâ good news. My friendâs boyfriend did something super sweet, and she shared it? PURE JOY.
Another friend got a new car? YAYYYY!
Someone finally tackled a difficult task? I AM SO HAPPY.
I have not always been this way though, itâs a skill I trained. Everyone I know is going to die one day. Some might go sooner rather than later - why wait to show love? Itâs the little things that build connection.
Having said that, connection with oneself is the foundation for quality connection with others, no doubt about it.
Mental Freedom
Itâs a little absurd to talk about mental freedom, given my own struggles. But since I stopped obsessing over self-improvement, half of my anxieties have left the chat.
My mind is still filled with trash, but I donât take its contents as seriously any more (except the times when I do đ).
Iâve noticed I speak less about myself now. When asked whatâs new, I talk about others (mostly my friends) because thereâs not much to report, things are good and I donât want to complain.
I still hate complaining and whining. I donât understand why people choose to relate (I do, childhood stuff) this way, but itâs so boring to listen to. I try to keep my complaints minimal because a) itâs not that interesting b) people have their own problems c) sharing something petty makes the issue bigger than it is.
Complaining is hard to define, but you know it when you see it. Itâs the drama behind it. Either solve the issue or keep it to yourself. I have some complaints, but itâs shit I donât take responsibility for to solve or look at myself (where it concerns complaining about other people) - so whatâs to complain about?
Maybe I should preface complaints with hereâs a list of things I donât intend to solve â itâd be more honest.
If you want to hear me complain about people who complain (very meta, I know), listen to my voice note.
The End
If youâre new and made it this far, I swear my newsletters arenât usually this chaotic. I typically spend a week writing and editing, but today, I had an hour, so Iâm just hitting âsendâ because if I donât, I wonât write again for another five months.
If youâre interested to read some of my better writing, try:
My Two Favourites (on Turkmenistan and WWE State of the World)
I miss writing!
Lots of love to you all,
Rima
P.S. Iâm probably eating cake somewhere right now