TOP 3 Human Needs and How to Satisfy Them + Life Update

Human needs, how to pick a coaching course

Hey my lovelies,

It’s been a while. I miss writing!

Life update

I’ve so many random ideas scattered around my head, but I couldn’t find enough time or mindshare to write them down. Instead, I think about KPIs and broad-match keywords (I’m in a Dig Marketing course for those new here).

I also got chosen to become a Junior Team Lead on a course which means I get paid to talk to others - my favourite thing in the world! 😁

Another piece of news is that I got a part-time job where onboarding lasted for an hour before I was dropped into an ocean with no life jacket. Happy to report I made it out alive!

A few weeks back I wrapped up a coaching course I was in for 2 months. I’m dying to share what I’ve learned, but it’s difficult, given that 70% of it was practice, not theory.

I’ll try to share the other 30% with you over time. We signed a contract stating we wouldn’t share what we learned publicly though, so I need to figure out which parts of the course are available on his YouTube channel before I do so.

The course

I’ve taken countless courses over the years, but this one ranks in my top two, alongside The Landmark Forum - although I find their selling technique cringe AF, it closed so many loops in my mind that I'll be grateful forever.

If you’d ask me, I’d say do the Forum if you want to save time doing other things that don’t work but resist buying their level 2 course because that’s how they get ya.

But back to the course I just finished. 90 academic hours of learning about pretty much everything you might need to do well in most areas of your life.

Sounds like an exaggeration, I know, but it isn’t. I don’t feel like I want to take another give-me-more-knowledge-on-life course again because I got what I needed. All I need to do is put it into practice.

But the practical part is what it’s all about. The main skill set we cultivated is self-regulation. We did a 30-60min practice + 3 other exercises every single day for 2 months.

The longer practice is called The Flower of Fire (it’s a rough translation) which essentially trained us to regulate our nervous system, develop body awareness and change our emotional states. The latter is more of an energetic work which I didn’t fully believe in until I took the course and to some extent, I still don’t. I don’t really care what ‘the truth’ is, I only care that it works.

The reason I haven’t shared the course name is that it’s only available in Lithuanian and Russian, so you won’t find it online.

Upon reflection, it being heavily focused on the practice, rather than learning more theory is what made the course so good. If you ever choose a coaching course (or any course, really), I highly recommend asking the person what the practical part is and how much space it takes up. We DO NOT create change through learning theory.

(Some) takeaways from the course

There are 3 types of needs we have - biological, social and ideal.

Biological needs

• I won’t surprise you, but the basics: food, sleep water, followed by shelter, safety etc. Essentially the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy.

• This group of needs ensures both individual and species survival of humans, affirming their belonging to the living nature.

• Biological needs can be fully satisfied (If you’re hungry, you can eat and become full. If you’re tired, you can sleep and recover etc.)

• The dominating fear in this sphere is the fear of death.

Social needs

• The fundamental social need is the need for emotional connection. From this strong urge for emotional connection (primarily with the mother), all other social needs arise. The main (‘derived’) social needs include:

  • A need for social territory (relationships, influence territory, business territory, etc.).

  • A need to belong to a social group and to occupy a certain position within this group.

  • To be respected by others.

• This need is met through informal communication (dialogue with acquaintances, friends, people close to you).

• It is almost impossible to satisfy this need in a formal environment (social relationships, social communication).

• Social needs are satisfied through social objects: social territory, social group, social hierarchy, and so on.

• These needs can be partially satisfied.

• The dominating fear in this sphere is to be disliked/kicked out from the social group by others.

Ideal needs

Also known as spiritual needs.

• The fundamental ideal need is the need for new information (knowledge, impressions, emotions, experiences, etc.). This is extremely important to remember because it explains why we keep wanting more information, more knowledge, more new experiences, more, more, more of something… This need can never be satisfied.

• Have you ever felt really inspired? Like you’re gonna start your own business or lose 10 pounds or [insert anything] ‘I want to start my own business, but I need to first learn about accounting’… but when you do, there’s another topic to learn about and so ad infinitum. This is why YouTube videos, motivational talks and social media influencing don’t work - it’s all being thrown into a Black Hole of spiritual needs which by their very nature are insatiable!

• On some level, we know this. We know consuming more info doesn’t translate into action, but we get hooked on it because it satisfies our spiritual needs. Rather, satisfies the illusion of satisfaction.

• Other needs that fall under the umbrella of ideal needs:

-The need to understand the surrounding world (curiosity, God).

-The need to find one's place in the world.

-The search for purpose and meaning in life.

-The creation and realization of new goals and meanings.

• Spiritual needs are somewhat satisfied through ideal (spiritual) objects (knowledge, meaning, creativity, faith, etc.), but it never feels like you’re full like you got there. We’re bound to forever desire more for our lives.

• The dominating fear of this sphere is the fear of infinity (or the fear of your own power aka what if I’m capable of more than I could imagine?)

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I don’t want to make this email too long so I will stop here, but I still have so much more to share. I’ll try and write the next piece about the comfort zone and why it’s complete and utter bullshit advice to leave it - and what to do instead!

Please ask questions if you have any because I could have made it into 10 pages email on this topic alone 😂

Love you!

Have the best weekend,
Rima ♥️

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P.S. My meditation app shares a quote every day. I’ve so many saved up on my phone, I felt like sharing one 👇