“What all people feel becomes their point of view of what reality is. If you can learn to manipulate the way people feel, you can make them feel any way you want them to feel.” - Andrew Bustamante
The CIA found that 98% of people are trapped in their own PERCEPTION. So the 2% that live in PERSPECTIVE can manipulate everybody else's perception (politicians, entrepreneurs, spies).
Perception vs perspective
Humans are like fish in the water. We have our frame of reference but rarely see it. We think that how we perceive the world is how it operates. Perception is about us and how we interpret the world around us.
But it’s limited by the 5 senses and tied to our biases. Your perception is predictable to anyone who knows you well enough. It’s our default position because it doesn’t take any effort.
Perspective, on the other hand, gives you the ability to perceive yourself and others from the outside in, meaning you can view the world as it is not as your perception tells you it is - to think outside the box. But it has to be trained.
Another downside of being stuck in perception
Living in your own movie - perception - makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint. We had to be self-centred to make sure we survive. Our brain is still stuck in the days of savannah and survival, so it only cares about the Self.
But this way of seeing creates judgement.
When we do something ‘wrong’, we find ways to explain it. We know what our reasoning is because we have access to our thought process. But when we evaluate others’ behaviour, we don’t have access to their reasoning, only the result, so we tend to be much harsher if their outcome is not what we deem correct.
It’s a vicious cycle. We’re trapped in our own perception and when we see the world/others operate in a way that doesn’t match our perception, we believe it’s wrong.
An ability to see how the world works outside of our perception + what someone else’s perception is = perspective. I’d call this adulthood.
How to understand someone’s frame of reference
Childhood, sociocultural context, and familial relationships are what shape our perception. By the age of 25, we’re fully set in our worldview.
The CIA distinguished 3 developmental stages of the brain:
Birth to 7 y.o. - we’re sponges, nothing is true or untrue so we get predisposed to believe a lot of things.
Between 7-13, we start to differentiate true vs untrue but it’s affected by the unconscious beliefs we learned in the 1st stage.
Ages 13-25 - we develop the ability to evaluate and reject certain pieces of information.
So when the CIA agent wants to ‘befriend’ a target, they look at the first 25 years of their life.
You could apply this to your life too - where/how/with whom did you spend every stage of your cognitive development and what ideas has that created for you?
Neuroplasticity is still a thing after 25, but the worldview has been set. The only way to change the worldview is if you give permission for contrary info to challenge you.
Core motivators
Another thing the CIA evaluates is core motivation. You find out about the target’s core motivation based on their childhood stages.
There are only 4 main core motivators in every decision human beings make:
Rewards (money, accolades, social status, non-selfish reasons etc.)
Ideology (wanting to see the world working in the ‘right’ (their own) way)
Coercion (individual is not acting on their free will but is being forced by the outside forces)
Ego (don’t think this one needs explanation)
Before the rise of psychology in the late 19th century, human behaviour was explained by moral and religious beliefs. They’re usually black-and-white, good vs evil worldviews.
But this still persists today. Even though research has demonstrated the complexity of an individual’s motivations and behaviour, we still evaluate others through the black-and-white lens.
Human behaviour - just like the world - is infinitely complex. Everyone has their unique experience, childhood, beliefs, conscious and unconscious biases that manifest in their behaviour and choices.
This comes back to perception. The inability to consider the other’s complexity and worldview keeps one stuck.
How to develop perspective
Stop thinking about yourself.
We all live in our own heads - we’re the star of our own movie and the centre of every story. This is true about yourself and the person you’re trying to understand.
Consider what life it’s like through this other person’s pov:
What does their day look like?
What do they do for a living and why?
What are their social interactions like?
What do they eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner?
What podcasts, articles, books do they like to read?
Etc.
When you take some time to reflect from a different perspective, you gain an informational advantage that turns into a tangible, unfair advantage. You understand them, what they care about and their decision-making process. This can be used in business, leadership, relationships.
Instead of thinking about what it’s like being married to your spouse, consider what it’s like being married to you.
What is it like being your friend/neighbour/coworker?
When you see someone you disagree with, consider what life experience that person has had to arrive at this conclusion.
You will start seeing results immediately.
It’s human instinct to think of yourself first. Anyone who can anticipate the other person's needs (aka has perspective) will be well-liked.
Part 2 of the series.
Have a great week,
Rima ✨
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This article has the secret to becoming rich, having a good marriage, and being generally good at inter-human interactions.
Good job Rima