Hmm interesting.. I created a model in my head a few years ago for something very similar to parent state - "the inner parent". Basically a way for me to consciously service and feed my needs of my inner child and parent.
This is a random thought, but relative to the people around me, I developed it a little earlier. And because of that, a couple close ppl started becoming really dependent on my "inner parent". And that made me... honestly really incompatible with them.
I think what you're describing is different. The Parent ego state Transactional Analysis refers to is to do with the communication patterns you picked up from your parents growing up (both good and bad). Say they were always critical of you, your inner parent now is extremely critical of everyone especially when they come from a Child-ego state. So the Inner Parent in this model is mostly unconscious. I guess I didn't explain this one very well!
What it sounds like you did is what most therapists and coaches advise: to *consciously* develop an inner parental figure/voice that supports the inner child. I'm not surprised some people started gravitating towards it though - when you don't have enough EQ/skills/awareness to develop one on your own you become attracted to people who have that 'inner parent'. It's icky but it also depends on the people... whether you can communicate to them what you think is happening and that they could develop one of their own
Hmm interesting.. I created a model in my head a few years ago for something very similar to parent state - "the inner parent". Basically a way for me to consciously service and feed my needs of my inner child and parent.
This is a random thought, but relative to the people around me, I developed it a little earlier. And because of that, a couple close ppl started becoming really dependent on my "inner parent". And that made me... honestly really incompatible with them.
I think what you're describing is different. The Parent ego state Transactional Analysis refers to is to do with the communication patterns you picked up from your parents growing up (both good and bad). Say they were always critical of you, your inner parent now is extremely critical of everyone especially when they come from a Child-ego state. So the Inner Parent in this model is mostly unconscious. I guess I didn't explain this one very well!
What it sounds like you did is what most therapists and coaches advise: to *consciously* develop an inner parental figure/voice that supports the inner child. I'm not surprised some people started gravitating towards it though - when you don't have enough EQ/skills/awareness to develop one on your own you become attracted to people who have that 'inner parent'. It's icky but it also depends on the people... whether you can communicate to them what you think is happening and that they could develop one of their own
Ah gotcha so it's a subconscious absorbing of both positive and negative behaviors bc of strong dependency that humans have as kids.
exactly