Join me on a walk as I discuss why I didn’t leave Bali sooner, what the cost of not committing to a decision is, why life is built from the inside out, doing the uncomfortable and other tangents I explore 😊
I mentioned in the podcast that it’s coming out three weeks from when I recorded but it’s actually been six!
I always want to honour the fact that you subscribed to a newsletter, not a podcast, so I do my best to show up in the format you prefer.
But I’ve hit a rough patch with writing. I’ve got lots to say, but nothing good comes out when I try writing - I’m stuck with 8 drafts that aren’t moving forward.
It’s been an incredibly frustrating two months and every newsletter since was born out of suffering. I cannot force myself to write another one 😂
I promised myself I’d publish weekly for 5 years (3 years and 9 months to go). Because I take my promises to myself very seriously, mainly because there are so few of them, I feel compelled to keep going even if I don’t feel like it.
I probably source too much of my self-worth from keeping my word, but that’s how my brain works.
On the one hand, why am I writing if not for the pleasure of expressing myself? But on the other hand, if I stop when the going gets tough, I’m not going to get far in life.
When I did the Landmark Forum, one of the distinctions for successful performance was decoupling how you feel from what you do. I don’t feel like doing X is a thinking error in their view. Granted, it’s an extreme view, but it makes sense to me because most days I feel like doing nothing which is not in line with my goals in life.
I feel/don’t feel like doing something
1I feel/don’t feel like doing something implies causation between 2 things: my feelings and performance.
When we say X (feeling) is in the way of Y (action you want to take), we create a reality based on something that’s ever-changing: feelings and emotions.
Since most of us can’t control our feelings and emotions this makes things tricky in terms of achievement.
Consider this: if I wait till I feel confident to take action, I will most likely never take action because I feel like I lack confidence. Catch 22, right?
That’s why you want to de-couple X from Y.
I need to write that essay AND I don’t feel like doing so
is different from
I need to write that essay BUT I don’t feel like it.
The latter implies that you would perform/take action but something else is in the way.
Feelings have nothing to do with performance.
In other news, I’ve started 2 new things: an EPIC coaching course and a Digital Marketing & Analytics programme, both of which are very intense. I’ll be sharing more insights from the coaching course as I go along - just need to chew on it first.
Anyway, thank you for reading/listening!
Lots of love,
Rima
This is an excerpt from my article on optimizing performance
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